Not being one for New Year’s resolutions, I prefer to dive into introspection to see what I accomplished and what I’d like to continue putting energy into. The ending of one year and beginning of a new one is a lovely time to think back. Here’s a little glimpse into my 2015…
Lessons I learned this year:
- What other people say about me is none of my business.
- It’s never too late for forgiveness. Practice it everyday.
- I’m capable of more than I’ve ever given myself credit for.
- Shame is a BS lie. Don’t be a victim of it. Tell it to get lost when it shows up.
- When I’m in a sh*tstorm , the best way to get out of my head is to help another person. Also known as “live in service and love.”
- Boundaries: There is very thin line between saying and doing the right thing and feeling like a pushover. In 2014, before I got sober and after, I took responsibility for a lot of things that weren’t mine to take. This year I practiced cleaning up my side of the street and letting others do what they will with theirs. NO is a complete sentence.
- Respond, don’t react. Enough said.
- Meditation is the key to peace and learning mindfulness.
- Practicing humility feels a lot better than constantly living in ego.
- Listen more…talk less. See #9 (That’s a tough one for me!)
- Self-medicating in any form is dangerous. Feeling the feels always is hard, but worth it.
- I’m not who I used to be and some people haven’t figured that out yet. See #1
- Stay in the present. “If you are depressed, you are living in the Past. If you are anxious, living in the future. It you are at peace you are living in the moment.” Lao Tzu
- Share your story. Someone out there needs to hear it.
Big stuff that happened:
1. I had back surgery. I’m still stuck in some fear of being injured again so I haven’t fully committed to lifting weights again. Something I really miss. Perhaps this new year I’ll release that fear.
2. I started a company exactly one year ago with a very special woman to help other recovering alcoholics and addicts find health. We have learned so much about helping people while being entrepreneurs.
3. I saw Brené Brown live. Yes, I totally fan girled and laughed that every therapist I’ve ever had was in the audience. I suppose that means I have good taste in therapist.
4. I went to DC with my biz partner and stood on the National Mall with over 100,000 other recovering alcoholics and addicts who were there to start a national conversation on addiction. POW-ER-FUL
5. I went into the new year sober and I stayed that way all year long…one day at a time.
6. I found out what intimacy really means and I started working towards being a lot less scared of it. Another work in progress for the coming year and the rest of my life.
7. I climbed a 5O foot tower despite my insane fear of heights. I practiced mindfulness and made it to the top.
8. I loved my kids like everyday was our last together. I made a commitment to always put them first and teach them how to become valuable, empowered women.
9. I met farmer Joel Salatin and told him that he was the inspiration for our decision to keep urban chickens. He was as lovely and kind as I had hoped!
10. I recommitted to my marriage and practiced being the kind of partner I could feel good about. I also worked on allowing myself to be loved and to stop being afraid of abandonment.
11. I got a new tattoo for my 39th birthday as a testament and reminder of my anti-perfectionism movement, no shame commitment, and forgiveness policy.
12. After months of estrangement from my father, we found a way to start over and to speak a new language with one another. We forgave each other and we made a decision to learn what loving each other looks like. It was the best gift of the year.
This new year, my wish for you is to know every day that you have value and that you are worth loving. Practice self care. May you laugh hard and cry hard and love hard. Blessings friends. See you in 2016.